Circles

unfamiliar path taken
into the trees
pushing tripping stumbling
searching
for what has already been found
backtracking into the unfamiliar
time goes by slowly
finally familiarity
but there is no comfort
ominous familiarity illuminates the obvious
running in circles


Running in circles. For months this phrase has been in my head. Every time I go to put up a facebook status or try to think of something to describe myself it comes to mind. I ignored it as a stupid, random thought at first but as it reoccurs I can only come to the conclusion that God is planting it in my mind. Now as I consider its application to my life I know why God is pushing it on me, forcing me to meditate on its meaning, He knows that the circles I have been running in for the past few months are so big that I don't recognize the obstacles that have tripped me hundreds of times. They change just enough that I feel like I'm making progress and new things are causing me to stumble but its the same old logs and fallen branches. They have new moss, the wind has rearranged them, they seem different but that doesn't change the truth that is now so obvious. I have been in this dirt before, I've bled here before, cried here, tried to fix myself here only to resume running in the same circle.

It's not like this circle is all obstacles. It has high points, mountain top experiences where I feel like I'm not lost anymore. From the tops of mountains you can see the road, the escape, the way home. It's so clear, just head that way. It's inspiring and in my haste to get to the place I know I want to be, I run back down the mountain, only to end up running the same long circular track.

But this can only go on as long as I don't realize what's happening. Now what, what can I do? Nothing, alone without a map or compass there is no definite way out of the trees. Luckily, I do have a map and compass and I am certainly not alone. I have Jesus Christ walking with me and God's word as a map. I have had them all along but have tried to find my way out on my own. The especially amazing part is that Christ is not just a comfort and a person to walk alongside me. He has been in these trees before, he has seen every obstacle and, unlike me, carefully navigated past each one without tripping. He knows well the trees we walk through because he has been through them already and he remembers the way out.

Now I just need to follow him. I need to stay close behind him so that I won't trip so frequently. I have to stop thinking that I see the way out and walking away from the savior trying to help me because that's when I start going in circles again.

Thanks to the people who helped me see the circle I was walking. Thanks for not giving up on me. Thanks for going to the father on my behalf and asking him to help me find my way. Family, friends, brothers, sisters, I love you all. And I'm through walking in circles. I hope I can help you if you are walking in a similar circle. Don't hesitate to ask. And remember God is loving and forgiving, always willing to guide us out of the trees.


The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:8-12

The Beautiful Game

The year is 2010. Most of the world has been waiting impatiently for this year since the summer of 2006. For most, this summer brings a chance at redemption. For one nation, a chance to defend its right to call themselves the world's greatest. It brings excitement and adrenaline. It gives us all a reason to cheer. World Cup 2010 is almost here at long last.

You have probably guessed that this event dominates the majority of my thoughts. Even right now my heart is pounding as I wonder who will be this year's dark horse. Can the US upset mighty England? What power's will fall? And What will happen in deadly Group G?(if you're confused see http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/standings/index.html ) Needless to say I'm pumped. So, with soccer commanding my thoughts I have been making connections between this beautiful game, life, and God.

It has always been easy for me to see God as a coach. I love sports and my dad has always been there to give me pointers and guide me as I try to excel. This analogy has given me a great view of my heavenly Father. He has the game plan. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11. The great thing about using a soccer coach for this analogy is that all the coach's planning can be changed based on the whim of a player. Soccer is fluid and the players have the freedom to do whatever they want. Likewise, we as Christians can step off the path God has placed before us. And, like any good coach, God can adjust His plans based on the player's actions. God never gives up on us. We can never step beyond His ability to save us.

Losing is an inevitable part of soccer. I hate it. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate losing more than I love winning. But, its part of the game. Failure, similarly, is an inescapable aspect of life. Pain, suffering, and heartbreak will happen in life. Luckily, our Father gets us through. Just like any great coach, God feels the pain of our defeat. He has sympathy and helps us back to our feet.

Sometimes pain is necessary for the ultimate good. Training is hard in soccer. Running, agility work, ladders, footwork, sit-ups, push-ups, and team work. It's tough but necessary. Hard work, pain, blood, sweat, and tears make a team great. In Christianity, we go through storms sometimes to come out stronger. Sometimes God pushes us to our limits to make us better. We have to leave our comfort zones, face the fire, and have our hearts broken so that God can rebuild us, refine us, and guide us to save the lost.

God, like soccer, gives us a lot to be excited about. He fills our lives and mends our broken hearts. He is our everything and its time we had the fire for Him that we have for things like the World Cup. I would love to see a day when the world's attention focuses on God the way it will focus on South Africa this summer.